Heartbreak Wisdom Journal — Entry 6: Forgiveness

Going through heartbreak is one of the trials of a lifetime–of the soul. Everything that was once familiar and taken for granted is now gone, destroyed, lost–but not forgotten. If only it could be forgotten! You won’t be at your best. It’s as simple as that.

In my last entry, I had a quote that said your heart has to be big enough to hold a horse race inside. How do you do this when everything feels wrong and you feel weak? Even if you can muster up the presence to show up and do your best for others and yourself, you will fail–miserably and often. Sometimes your big and beautiful intentions will come to naught. You won’t get any farther than tripping over your own feet. Such moments feel like there is no point, like all you can do is give up.

What do you do? — You forgive yourself. You have two choices: you can either feel guilty and hate yourself as well as everything you’ve lost, or you can forgive yourself for struggling, for wanting to be happy, for being vulnerable, and for having a heart. If you truly want to share deep compassion with the world, you have to begin with yourself. That’s how your heart grows to hold even the hardest emotions with tender equanimity–growing to the size of holding a horse race. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to push yourself to learn and to get beyond your own mistakes; instead, it’s giving yourself the gift of patience to do just that.

May this plant a seed of compassion in anyone out there who suffers from the pain of a broken heart.
Gassho!


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Previous Heartbreak Wisdom Journal Entry– Entry 5: Depression – Experience & Practice

Show Me Practice

“Show me one thing that you didn’t learn from your books.” Better said, show me how these ideas impact a life. Show me how they are concretely experienced and practiced.

Even the barest knowledge of facts must change you and the world in which you live. In learning of photosynthesis, a new world of interaction opens where physics, chemistry, and biology intertwine—a new realization of the intimacy of *natura*, the chiasm of a vibrant unfolding.

Now you see life differently. Your understanding changes – you and the world change. Yet this wonder is so easy to lose and so hard to gain. With your elaborate systems and beautiful arguments, how do you see the world differently, and how do you continue to be in wonder of it, to have gratitude for every moment of it, and to find meaning in it? Or are you lost in a haze of Ideas? Are your ideas lived through concrete experiences, or are your experiences lived through abstract ideas? Wake up.